Love and Forgiveness – Are They Interdependent?

Love and Forgiveness - Are They Interdependent?  Horses

A Master Teacher Speaks

Paul Ferrini is an open-minded and compassionate teacher who empowers us to awaken our divine potential within. He is truly inspired as he writes about a unique blend of spirituality and psychology. His special focus is on love and forgiveness. He says the only thing standing between us and an authentic spiritual approach to living – – is us. In this article, we review Paul’s approach to love and forgiveness.

Ferrini relates how responding to inner guidance, he opened his consciousness, and expanded his awareness. He noticed during his spiritual awakening that the most important insights he received were about of love, healing and forgiveness.

Paul believes his 35 years of spiritual work have taught him what is necessary to bring real, lasting change to improve a person’s consciousness and life experience. My wife and I attended one of his classes a few years ago, and read his book I am the Door many times. This article is based on the teachings from this book.

From Our Spark of Divinity Grows Forgiveness and Love

Paul begins the book by saying the no matter where our lives may go, how far we stray from our path, we cannot extinguish the “spark of divinity” within our consciousness. Any mistakes we make are opportunities for learning, Love and Forgiveness - Are They Interdependent? The Spark Within - Sparks from glassand to condemn anyone else for making mistakes may be our way of pretending we never make mistakes.

Instead, he tells us to release ourselves and anyone else from our judgment, and love them. He says:

“To make wrong is to teach guilt, and perpetuates the belief that punishment is necessary. To make right is to teach love and show forgiveness.” “We cannot love in an unloving way.”

Creation of a Loving Space

Paul teaches that by recognizing the worthiness of others, our own worthiness is confirmed. When we withhold our love from anyone, we deny love to ourselves as well. He reveals:

Love and Forgiveness - Are They Interdependent? Creating a Loving Space - Mom & son“Tolerance for differences is essential to the creation of a safe, loving space. It is not necessary for people to have the same beliefs to experience spiritual communion with one another. Communion happens throughout the extension of love and non-judgement. … Love, not agreement, must become the bond that hold the community together.”

“If we want someone to act in a loving way, we must be willing to love him. Only our love for them will teach them the meaning of love.” “When love is present in a relationship, the question is always ‘what are we going to do?’ not ‘What am I going to do?”

Where Are the Answers?

Ferrini says when we focus on what is outside of ourselves, we don’t find the divine. The divine is within. If we are not looking for the sacred within our own heart, we can live our whole life and never know the divine even exists. We can be bitter, resentful and angry. He asserts:

“Don’t look outside of yourself for answers. Don’t seek refuge in ideas, opinions and advise of other people. Don’t go into your head to try to figure things out. Surrender all of that, and seek the place where love begins, in your heart. It is your responsibility to reconnect with the source of love when you need to. No one else can do it for you.” “Your heart is the place where love is born.”

Seeking Approval

Paul says when we seek the acceptance and approval of other people, we are attached to the way they receive us. So we can never express our essential self. He reveals:

Love and Forgiveness - Are They Interdependent? Seeking Approval - Polar Bears“Our attempt to find love outside ourselves always fails, because we cannot receive from another something we haven’t given to ourselves.” “Be steadfast in your love for yourself. …. Then you will attract others into your life who are happy to be themselves.”

Seeing the Spiritual in Others

Paul teaches once we see the light in ourselves, we can appreciate this brightness in everyone else. It doesn’t matter if they can notice it themselves. We will know the light is there. He insists:

Love and Forgiveness - Are They Interdependent? Seeing the Light in Others - Mom & Baby“All genuine relationships must be built on the foundation of one’s acceptance of and love for self. That is the primary spiritual gesture, the one that open the door to the potential for intimacy.”

The Door to the Spiritual Life

Paul believes love is the door to a spiritual life. Without love, we are left with dogmas and beliefs based on fear. Without love, we will have no real compassion or charity. He asserts:

“Those who live a genuinely spiritual life – regardless of the tradition they follow – are centered in their love for the Divine and their fellow beings.”

Spiritual Practices

Ferrini notes three spiritual practices he recommends: (1) remembering the divinity within ourselves often, (2) accepting ourselves on a regular basis, and (3) seek solitude when we need to integrate our experience. He states:

“I simply ask you to remember your Divine Essence for five minutes out of each hour, or for one thought out of every ten.”

Love and Forgiveness - Are They Interdependent? Finding Solitude - Solitary Figure“Practice accepting yourself just as you are. Then you will know what love is and you will recognize it when it comes into your life. If you love yourself conditionally, you will draw others into our life who do the same. We cannot receive from others what you are unable or unwilling to give to yourself.”

Find some solitude.

“Solitude is necessary for our emotional health, whether we are living alone or living with another. Solitude gives us the time and space to integrate our experience. Having lots of experiences means nothing if we do not take the time to learn from them.”

To Summarize

So are love and forgiveness interdependent? I think so. One appears to be part of the other. When we merge both into our lives, we free our minds and spirits. Then can we really know freedom.

Love and Forgiveness – Are They Interdependent? - SeagullPaul Ferrini is the author of many books on love and forgiveness. He teaches at conferences and retreats, and has helped thousands deepen their practice of forgiveness. His book I am the Door can be found at Amazon and other book sellers. (please note, we receive no compensation for this endorsement, other than knowing that others can benefit from Paul’s work)



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